Ignorance is bliss. I live to forget but never forgive.


I broke a key, cut my finger, bled like nobody business. Hp died, don't bother sms me, cause for additional bruises. Staying at home is suffocating me. Thought everything would turn out nice, but I was wrong. Had bad nightmare, dreamt that you were gone, everything just disappear. I can't trust people around you anymore, it's difficult.


Bag packed, informed my aunties. Told them I hate it, I hate that feeling. It's driving me insane, I can't even speak properly. They're flying here in afew days' time, that's what they said. But I've made up my mind, staying ain't gonna make me happy. I told them: I've given up, totally.

Got into a fight, had bruises all over me. Head hurts also =/ That happened 2 nights ago, or was it 3 nights ago? I don't know. Had terrible hangover ytd until I kept calling out for baby, but I knew he wasn't somewhere near me. Last thing I ever remembered was being reprimanded by baby through the phone and crying out loud in ehub arcade. Great. My eyes are swollen, wondered how much I had cried last night, I can't even recall what the hell did I do. My neck hurts alot too, so is my chest. Dying soon, LOL! Slept for more than 12 hours, and I'm sooooo alert now. Feel like eating chocolate now, I'm moody. On top of that, I don't know how to tell mummy ada that I'm not working anymore): Gonna miss her alot, & the food too. Esssh! Staying at home today, such a bore. Someone help me - bring me out!


I need money, daddy's bday is coming! I've yet to clear my $300 debt, book sky dining and buy a birthday cake. I seriously sucks. Feel like banging myself against the wall, guess Im'ma go see a shrink. LOL! Prom can go to hell, probably wearing any dress I have in my wardrobe.

Went out last fri with wx, catch up with her. Chit chat and stuffs, secrets. LOL! Well, she kinda disappointed me at the end of the day. she said I should post up that previous sentence, haas! Babe, everything will be fine de la. Don't keep think think think aye, smile more. Afterall, you're a RATARD, remember?

These weeks was nasty, hate it. I practically feel like killing myself, LOL!

• I didn't study for 'O', there goes my As.
• One day bazaar at bugis yesterday, there goes my $200+.(AND, AND it's not even for prom la!)

There are many more, but these 2 are kinda like the "main factors".

• Hospital appointment on 23 Nov
• Prom night on 23 Nov
• Daddy's birthday on 23 Nov
• Cousins are coming to my house around 23 Nov

Now I hate 23 Nov, hais. I might be preparing a big surprise for daddy, but I've got no $$. I would need at least $200+. *frown* Any kind soul?

Hospital appointment is horrible. I hate hospitals. I might be sick, there's like a chance. Thanks for those consolation my darlings gave. It doesn't make me feel any better but I love y'all.

After all those stuffs which has been happening lately, I don't feel like going prom anymore. Maybe just rot at home.

Twitter is driving me crazy, I suck at computer stuffs(If you get what I mean). I'm only an expert in spending money and not earning it back.

I should go fuck myself, I wanna drink, I wanna get a tattoo, I wanna die, I wanna go out and I'm going out soon. Spending my $$ again, sad. Gonna see my money fly away, arsehole.

I used to babble throughout the whole conversation we had, now he's the one who talks the most. I hate 1 word answer and that's how I answer now. I made him feel unimportant, like we're drifting apart. Despite all these ill treatment from me to him, he still tried ways to uplift my feelings. Shag, why the hell am I feeling this way these days?



I wish I have Albert Einstein's brain, don't needa study anymore. Does all parents love to compare their sons/daughters with others? Fucking irritating leh. My parents always compare me with their friends' daughters. "See, she top leh whole cohort", "Aiyo, I can say that her face features nicer than yours." and it goes on.. Yala, they all better. I don't give a shit. The way they compare is like comparing meat lor! "Wa.. your chicken more tender leh! Kampung summore!" For goodness sake, they're still chicken. You eat it, digest it, shit it all out. Don't believe then go try the farm and kampung chicken.

Isn't it obvious that no matter how smart who and who is or how pretty/ good-looking who and who is, they're still humans mah. It's just a matter of how your views their fortes, whether it sucks or it doesn't. I hate comparing someone with someone, it's stupid(even though I do it at times for fun.). The more they say, the urgency for me to go back home early in the night poom into thin air. Detest it.


Going out soon, just pray hard that my mood will be (: so I can snap shots and update more.

Weee! 'O's starting next week and I'm blogging now! Isn't it great? Maybe yes or maybe no, tsk! 1 week break now, happy happy! Been going out with baby to catch movies last week, but now poly started, no time for me):

Browsing through all the old pictures, it really captured beautiful memories in it(I snapped it and the camera took it.) Now, my life is shitty. Too lazy to take any photos, haha!


Was laughing so hard at all the candid shots until my stomach hurts now.


Now I'm wondering whether the people staying above and below me would come knocking on the door asking me to shut the fuck up.


I'm seriously serious about me laughing my ass off, those pictures.. HILARIOUS to the power of infinite. Back then, I was a nerd-to-be, wondering what baby sees in me. Taas, who cares?




Been thinking about repiercing my naval, should I? I'm fat, pierce also useless -.- Whatever, couldn't even be bothered. Shall consider it after O then, hees.





Started studying, FINALLY! *claps* Trying to maintain my As for both maths, trying to aim A for double sciences. English? I don't know, my english is atrocious(or you can say, incorrigible?). Did make minor improvements in English, but not enough for me to up my angmor by a grade or so.



Oh, oh.. I promised myself something, secret. Shh... LOL! I guess I'm high now after those laughing. Well, I've promised myself to find back part of my old-self and to study like siao. Why? I don't know why the fuck I even made that promise, but it helps anyway.



I've been doing my homeworks religiously, and more MORE MORE revision!



I'd realise that notes never help me, it's just a waste of papers. Now, I'm memorising most of the formulas(F.Y.I. I've got very bad memory.). *grins* I've managed to memorise most of the things except humanities):


I guessed humanities have a thing against me, been scoring C6 for almost 2 years. No improvement leh!




Going out at night later, hopefully, maybe, think so. Update soon(:


It's 3 am now, waking up at 6am. Oinkey-donkey, I ought to retire to bed now.

My blog has been dead for quite afew weeks, haas! While, past few weeks did go out but I'm too reluctant to elaborate much. Life's mundane. No pictures were taken, spend most of my time sleeping while going out. My energy are all drained due to the afternoon intensive lessons, dying soon.


I'm stil slacking around, sigh. Fucking hate it when everyone is taking 'O's so seriously, and I'm like, nothing lor. I'm not scared, nervous or something. Just purely happy because when 'O's are nearing, holidays are nearing too. Suck balls, zzz..


Many things happened too. I mean many things can happen within these few weeks because I've not been updating my bloody blog. Well, many things refers to very bad things. I don't know how to describe how bad it is because it's just bad, very bad. You know, fate just decided to take a sinister turn and now I'm facing all sorts of stupid problems. For a moment when everything was going smoothly, someone will destroyed it.


It's just like a small little girl was playing a barbie doll and a stupid boy came breaking the neck off the body of the barbie.
"Die! Stupid barbie doll! So disgusting!"
"Why?! Why did you break my barbie doll?"
"I hate barbie dolls!"
"Fuck off la, fuck you!"


Whatever, eesssh~! Being alone isn't easy afterall, you know. You gave me shit, I've decided not to stay back and clean all the shit up for you. I was just someone who you can joke with, someone who you can reliant on, someone who you can share your secrets with. I wasn't that important, not really THAT important. When it comes to certain things, you did it discreetly. Why? Fear that I'll outdo you? Freaking hate it.


Been doing some soul searching recently. I did change, alot. I'm not my old-self, I'm like a soul-less person who practically don't care about everything? Trying to find back some of my old-self. At least I was stubborn last time when I wanted to do something. Now? Nothing..


But now, I've learnt to be independent. Life's better off without you, you're super extra to a certain extent. I've decided to give my love and care to people who cares more, unlike you. Maybe I was blind for the past 1+ year, wasting most of my time on you. I gave you help but I get nothing in return, what the fuck is that?


Because I'm always mean what I said, you hold no importance in me now. I'm tired of your stupid actions and talks about how funny "the incident"was. Call me cruel or anything you want, I don't give a fucking shit. When you started all your evil doings, I knew you're up to something.


If you think your acting is good, then mine is better. I can pretend to be very lovely and affectionate towards you. But, in the end, I lose nothing and you'll get yourself in a complicated situation. Afterall, the world is unfair.


Well, do you believe in spirits? Because I can see some things others can't. So when I told you not to do certain thing, there's a purpose. Not a fucking joke, you just don't listen. No exceptions, you don't even want to heed my advise yet you asked me to compliment. I detest repeating myself for more than 3 bloody times.


*Sigh* I've got nothing to lose now. Im'ma get used to the life now, you're just a parasite. I've chose to leave you. I feel so much better. I am happy now, without you. Get this straight, I'm not upset. You deserve it. You'll know it, it's just a matter of time.

I want C905, but daddy said I should get a hp and camera instead. Xperia or C903? I just want a bloody hp to sms, call and contact other people. Which? I guess I will take Xperia? How about C903?


I don't know, I'm a noob when it comes to electronic devices. Baby, help me!(He's working and he has yet to reply my sms.) Xperia is nice but C903 is cool, gosh. Daddy said if I still can't make my mind then I'll go get myself China hp, haha! p/s: China iPhone is better than the original iPhone. Lala, going out soon. Gonna make up my mind, getting my hp soon -.-


I'm gonna be happy to change hp but I guess I'll be sad because I only can get to choose either 1 of them. Daddy shouldn't cut away my 2nd line, then I'll buy down both. LOL! Pffft~! Whatever! I'll get 1 hp first, when the pink blackberry is in the market, IM'MA BUY IT!(:


Weee~ I've done finish my homeworks on sat, amazing la! *claps* Now I'm slacking like crazy, motivation gone. Before that, I have like 1% of motivation but now, -0.1%? Negative value, haha. I can't sit down and study for hours anymore):


And I recently receive a motivation sms, like weekly? Who's that huh? Always flooding my inbox, my hp lousy leh, must spare a thought for me. Sad to say, whoever is that, I actually just delete that sms. Reasons?
1. I don't feel motivated.
2. To me, I will never get motivated via sms.
3. You're flooding my inbox like crazy.
4. I delete my smses weekly, so I cleared yours as well.
5. Humas invented the deleting function, easy! Just press options> delete sms. Done!


I'm not trying to discriminate you or so, but just don't bother to sms me encouraging smses. I get irritated actually, because my hp always hang when I receive long msgs. I'm lazy to sms too, I prefer calling. Want to make me feel motivated then call, don't sms anymore. Zzz.. I'm such a bastard, fuck.